26.7.12

23/7/2012


The saying is thought to have originated with Saint Bernard of Clairvaux, and it's a little bit of how I'm feeling right now. The intent of this blog was to keep an honest account of my experience as I prepared for my journey, and frankly I haven't kept up my end of the bargain. 
So much has happened, so much crazy in my head, I feel like I blacked out sometime in the early part of 2012 and am now just becoming lucid.

How to recap it all.

When was my last serious blog?

Here is an image to distract you while I think.


Artist of  photo above I wish I could credit you, but I don't know who you are, I'm sorry. If anyone does know who this artist is please let me know!

So what has happened.

The apartment is empty and gone. 
Difficult endevor but I made it. Long obsesive nights of packing, repacking, hauling unwanted treasures down to the street to let loose into the universe.
Moments of breaking where all attachment was gone and I could have walked away from it all, and I would have but then it would just become someone else's problem, and I'm a fan of taking care of my shit.
I think the most extrodinary momnet was releasing my old art work. 
I started taking photography class in highschool, I was either 15 or 16 years old, I loved the film, I loved the darkroom, I learned fast and worked hard and have (had) about 20years of work to show for it. 
A few years ago, during my last move, I did a big art dump. I opened my doors and let people come and take whatever they wanted but I kept the really good stuff for myself.
This time around I put out the word, another art dump and this was the good stuff, a few people came, a few things went but there was still so much.
I hate those things you keep because you feel like you should, but when it comes down to it they are just stones around your neck, emotional sand bags to pull your body down to the deeps pf the river.
Cut. Cut.


I took all those images down to the recycle bin and chucked them in.


It was a beautiful euphoria.


The next morning while driving to work a saw a homeless man with one of my portfolio boxes leafing through the discarded dreams.


I wish I had a picture of that, but the image in my mind will have to suffice.


There was a span of time I fell deeply in love with my SF life.
It had reached perfection.
I didn't want to leave.
I would give anything to stay.


A true feeling even if I didn't feel like I could share it.


Then the universe magically reminded me how quickly things can change, and shoved me back to the direction I needed to be going.


The day before my flight I felt like I had over stayed my SF life.

The most important things, the people that make up my family I have bundled here in my heart and they keep me full and strong.

7 comments:

  1. You are such an inspriational woman. Strong, kind, vulnerable, all rolled up into one wonderful package. You have, are, and will do great things!

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  2. Thank you Mary.
    FYI mailed your belt today!

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  3. That really touched my heart and made me realise that sometimes our possessions are the things that keep us chained to an insular world that can become our prison. In my world I would find it almost impossible to venture out and do anything like the brave decision you have made. You are lucky in the aspect that there are literally hundreds of people worldwide who will welcome you with open arms when your journey takes you nearby. Your life in SF has provided you with the tools to live that dream, go with it wherever it takes you. Keep us informed along the way and if ever it gets too much never be afraid to return to the place and the people that make you the happiest. Much love and strength to you on your travels!...xx

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  4. Dear Kristine,
    thank you so much for engaing into this experience and sharing it with us all. You are inspiring me to ask myself if I really need all the stuff I accumulated around me and also that it'll stop my creaive process if things will just linger around and pull you down ;)
    Now you're free as a bird and go wherever you want to and there's a network of women ready to carry you. Wow!
    Can't wait to meet you and hear about your experiences.
    Love and Light
    Gudrun

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  5. Thank you for the beautiful broken dream. Dreams are like eggs. You can't fully live without cracking perfection. Much love and respect to you. I honor your authenticity. I hope to see you on your travels, Little Bird Flying Free from The Gilded Cage.

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  6. I just want you to know that I am keeping track of you while you are on your journey.

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I study and teach ATS style belly dance with FatChanceBellyDance.
www.FCBD.com

I am about to embark on a world tour:
www.fromthebellyofatraveler.com